A Grandfather's Brilliant Final Letter To His Grandkids Offers Life Lessons For all of us !
On Sept. 3, 2012, James K. Flanagan
of West Long Branch, N.J., died unexpectedly of a heart attack. He wrote this
letter to his five grandchildren just months earlier and it is reprinted here
with the permission of his daughter Rachel Creighton.
Dear Ryan, Conor, Brendan, Charlie,
and Mary Catherine,
My wise and thoughtful daughter
Rachel urged me to write down some advice for you, the important things that I
have learned about life. I am beginning this on 8 April 2012, the eve of my
72nd birthday.
1. Each one of you is a wonderful
gift of God both to your family and to all the world. Remember it always,
especially when the cold winds of doubt and discouragement fall upon your life.
2. Be not afraid . . . of anyone or
of anything when it comes to living your life most fully. Pursue your hopes and
your dreams no matter how difficult or "different" they may seem to
others. Far too many people don't do what they want or should do because of
what they imagine others may think or say. Remember, if they don't bring you
chicken soup when you're sick or stand by you when you're in trouble, they
don't matter. Avoid those sour-souled pessimists who listen to your dreams then
say, "Yeah, but what if . . ." The heck with "what if. . ."
Do it! The worst thing in life is to look back and say: "I would have; I
could have; I should have." Take risks, make mistakes.
3. Everyone in the world is just an
ordinary person. Some people may wear fancy hats or have big titles or
(temporarily) have power and want you to think they are above the rest. Don't
believe them. They have the same doubts, fears, and hopes; they eat, drink,
sleep, and fart like everyone else. Question authority always but be wise and
careful about the way you do it.
4. Make a Life List of all those things
you want to do: travel to places; learn a skill; master a language; meet
someone special. Make it long and do some things from it every year. Don't say
"I'll do it tomorrow" (or next month or next year). That is the
surest way to fail to do something. There is no tomorrow, and there is no
"right" time to begin something except now.
5. Practice the Irish proverb: Moi
an olge agus tiocfaidh sí "Praise the child and she will
flourish."
6. Be kind and go out of your way to
help people -- especially the weak, the fearful, and children. Everyone is
carrying a special sorrow, and they need our compassion.
7. Don't join the military or any
organization that trains you to kill. War is evil. All wars are started by old
men who force or fool young men to hate and to kill each other. The old men
survive, and, just as they started the war with pen and paper, they end it the
same way. So many good and innocent people die. If wars are so good and noble,
why aren't those leaders who start wars right up there fighting?
8. Read books, as many as you can.
They are a wonderful source of delight, wisdom, and inspiration. They need no
batteries or connections, and they can go anywhere.
9. Be truthful.
10. Travel: always but especially
when you are young. Don't wait until you have "enough" money or until
everything is "just right." That never happens. Get your passport
today.
11. Pick your job or profession
because you love to do it. Sure, there will be some things hard about it, but a
job must be a joy. Beware of taking a job for money alone -- it will cripple
your soul.
12. Don't yell. It never works, and
it hurts both yourself and others. Every time I have yelled, I have failed.
13. Always keep promises to
children. Don't say "we'll see" when you mean "no."
Children expect the truth; give it to them with love and kindness.
14. Never tell anyone you love them
when you don't.
15. Live in harmony with Nature: go
into the outdoors, woods, mountains, sea, desert. It's important for your soul.
16. Visit Ireland. It's where the
soul of our family was born -- especially the West: Roscommon, Clare, and
Kerry.
17. Hug people you love. Tell them
how much they mean to you now; don't wait until it's too late.
18. Be grateful. There is an Irish
saying: "This is a day in our lives, and it will not come again."
Live every day with this in mind.
As was written in his obituary,
James K. Flanagan "was proudly liberal and fought unyieldingly for the
underdog. He was an accomplished author, poet, and seanchai -- Irish
storyteller; he reveled in recounting the joy of growing up Catholic in Jersey
City and his adventures in the Adirondack Mountains and on the Western coast of
Ireland. His greatest love was spending time with his family, most of all his
five grandchildren" Ryan (11); Conor (10); Brendan (9); Charles (8); and
Mary Catherine (5)."
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