Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It’s not what you communicate but how you communicate

The generation gap between a father and a son is 20 to 30 years or may be more. What your father think right may not be right with the present context. How do you handle such a situation when your father speaks something which may not be relevant with the current circumstance and situation? Most of the people make fun about your father due to his old fashioned opinions and habits. This is one of the main contexts of misunderstanding between parents and children with the present generation.
If my father says something, which is not right with the present situation; I can defend directly by disagreeing with father by saying, “Dad what are you saying is rubbish. Everyone makes fun about your opinions. I have been in the best schools and colleges in India and abroad. I know what is right and what is wrong. You don’t have to teach me.”
How your father will think? “It was better not to educate him.” The same message I can convey in a different way, “Dad what I am today is because of you. You have given me opportunities to study in best schools and colleges in India and abroad. What they taught us ‘this is right with the present context’. If any one makes fun about I feel very bad, I get hurt. I agree with you what you speak. But that was right 20 years back.” How a father will feel? Will he be ready to listen to his son?
What have I done in the above statements, I have appreciated for what he has done to me. I have used ‘you’ to praise him and ‘I’ to express my feeling, how I feel if anyone makes fun about him. I didn’t accuse or blame him for anything. I just expressed my feeling without hurting him. I agreed with him that he is right according his perception (which was right 20 years back). Once again I want to reiterate, “It’s not what you communicate but how you communicate makes the difference.”